Dear Mark,
I am really honored you chose to come to me with your question. I have been thinking about you and Jane for a few weeks now.
From where I stand it seems as though you two have come to an impasse I can only recommend you spend some time apart. Often separation provides the perspective needed to know in which direction to proceed. You may not know this, but Suzanne and I separated several years ago. She stayed with her parents for a few weeks. It really renewed our appreciation for one another. Time apart may not be the solution for you two. I can only tell you about our experience.
Whatever route you take, I hope you will be able to work things out. You will always have my support
Best regards,
Kate